Your mom need not apply

O&P in SD

2010-05-24T20:32:00.000-07:00

Whoa! Out and proud in Sunny San Diego!
I just moved down here with my girlfiend and so far I'm loving every minute of it!
I came out a little over a year ago and I think most of you know. If not Now ya do!
I know the big question is gay and Mormon? How do ya do that?
Well I'm as Mormon as a gay girl can be!

On a more entertaining note:
Went to the beach today and got a Godzilla sized ice cream cone! (yeah it hurts)

I'm House sitting for my Brother while he is in London with his wife.
In the mean time thier giant 13 yr old cat (Chan) is oddly soft and I just want to cuddle her. As one can imagine a cat of her years does not enjoy being held like a baby and told she is the Princess of Plump. (Unless my brother does it) But I do it anyway. I hope that I never age to the point that I don't enjoy a good tummy rub and compliment!

Dear Kristen Wiig

2009-10-29T22:29:00.000-07:00

I Absolutely adore you!
Where did you come from and why were you not here sooner!?!
You get me laughing to the point of tears!
Ba ba ba BRILLIANT!
I Heart you!

*83 XEF Baby on Board

2009-09-17T21:48:00.000-07:00

Listen, When you have a "Baby on Board" sign on your car.... Please do not make illegal lane changes. Then proceed to weave in and out of traffic like a freakin maniac!
It makes me wonder what your doing at home and I might have to follow you.
Not that I would follow someone, but for real Lady...Get your head together!

dugite 100

2009-09-14T23:50:00.000-07:00

Who ever you are...
THANK YOU !
A million times Thank you!
I never thought I would get to see it.
She did this while I was away and I always thought I had lost the opportunity to see it happen.
Many times in my life she has found a way to inspire me just by being herself.
I can't thank you enough.
She is my Hero! (and now so are you!)
Thank you for hiding away that little camera and capturing every minute.
Thank you Youtube for being there.
Most importantly Thank you Reba for doing Annie Get your Gun.
( and if memory serves...thank you to who ever it was that changed the ending.)
Thanks for the gift. I will treasure it always!
Gushing!

bad call

2009-09-11T20:21:00.000-07:00

I was making a call. (I do this a lot.)
I got the voice mail. (this happens a lot too.)
I left my fun and energetic message. (It's just my style.)
I hung up. (or so I thought.)
I then began talking to myself, other drivers, singing to myself, etc.
It was then I realized I had not hung up and was leaving a very long confusing babbling message to my good friend.
I'm just so awesome!

Dear The Biggest Loser,

2009-05-12T22:12:00.000-07:00

I am a fan. I want to be a part of your show.
You should call me.
I'm cool. (the coolest)
Funny. (no for real)
Amazing. (are ya buyin' this?)
I'm not over weight. But I want to work to keep your contestants strong and healthy.
I'm an amazingly talented Sports and Injury Massage Therapist.
We should talk about this.
Maybe you could call me some time.
I watched the finally tonight, so proud, and in the words of my room mate "giddy" with excitement over three hours of air time.
About that phone call, you should do it soon!
Or maybe just leave a comment here on my blog.
Season 7! You have rocked me all season long!
I laughed.
I cried.
You became a part of me.
Call me.
Call me up.
Fo' sho'!
I'm waiting......
.........................
......... ..............
.........yup................
Waiting.......ya there?
Nope?...........Hello?...
........(sigh)
Guess I'll just have to head out to LA for a while and get this business under way.

A & E tv

2009-02-10T08:37:00.000-08:00

Is there a place a gal can go to find entertainment that involves crime dramas, paranormal activities, and maybe a WT family or two? There is! There is such a place and it's called Channel 40!

A&E!

Paranormal State: I enjoy so much watching people with Haunted Houses trying to discover if they really have a ghost or if they are just crazy. Either way it's just creepy enough to put me to sleep soundly.

Dog the Bounty Hunter and his brigade of anti criminal red-necks....... It fills me with such joy to see them "shake down" the bad guys and run in and out of houses like a real band of authoritarians.

Crossing Jordan: surprisingly delightful

Third Watch: all I can say is.......MY FAVORITE!

Intervention: Makes me cry like they are members of my own family.

The First 48: Just Magical! Again the hunt is on and it's "real" investigators this time! Holy Cheese the excitement!

The days of boring tv are over. I have a gem. A treasure among the crap and it's name is

A&E!

Music

2009-01-16T08:19:00.000-08:00

I am a lover of music. Most kinds. I enjoy variety.
I have been working at the same massage studio for almost a year. And FINALLY we have new music. A bit of Mozart. A Bit of class. I enjoy it. ( I could do without one of the flute pieces, sorry Maggie....it's just to fast for a massage clinic. I love the flute and I love you.) :)
Now as I work there are fewer birds and fake ocean. But don't you worry. The boss man has a new plan. We are now adding sound machines to the rooms. So if you want a thunderstorm, if you want a waterfall, if you want the ocean, we can provide you with it. Unfortunately we can not there after provide you with a good massage because your therapist will be ASLEEP!
"Now just relax and enjoy the sounds of the running stream, the table is heated for your......zzzzz....huh? Sorry, where was I?......Heated for your comfort."

I think I'll get a massage today. :)

My New Favorite Tag

2009-01-11T10:08:00.000-08:00

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME(first pet and current car) Lady Malibu

2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME((favorite ice cream and favorite cookie) Vanilla Snickerdoodle

3. YOUR “FLY Guy/Girl” NAME: (first initial of first name, first three letters of your last name) L. Rit

4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal) Indigo Chimp

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born) Renee Portland

6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first) RitLi

7. SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite drink put “The”) The Royal Blue Dr. Pepper

8. NASCAR NAME: (the first names of your grandfathers) Thomas Vincent

9. STRIPPER NAME: (the name of your favorite perfume/cologne, favorite candy) Sweet Temptation Caramel

10. WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother’s & father’s middle names) Dianna Oscar

Bliss

2009-01-06T14:39:00.000-08:00

They say that bliss is different for everyone. One is encouraged to "follow" said bliss. Not just to follow it, but to define it, know it, become it if need be.
I found my bliss yesterday afternoon on board the Bridge of the Star Ship Enterpise NCC 1701-D.
Sure it was only a model. It was only a replica. I'm more then positive that not a single member of the cast or crew of the TNG series ever set foot upon the grounds on which I stood myself yesterday. The realization is not, however, changed. The Joy I found in the hours upon hours I spent watching my favorite half talents preform their futurist lives was not diminished even a small bit.
You see I am a GEEK. (pause) It's true. I know I had some of you fooled, but there is not a "cool" bone in my body.
I don't think I could ever do anything that will compare with my bliss.
Unless of course someone somewhere takes me to an X-Files set, auction, or "meet the Cast" event.
Or if at any point in the future I make it to LA. Then of course "make it" IN LA, and am able to do some kind of project where I get to preform with any of either shows cast members.....
My definition of bliss might change.
Ah Bliss....
You are so good to me.

Geeeee- Rooooos

2008-11-03T07:56:00.000-08:00

I love my job. It's enjoyable and quiet. At the end of the day I get in the car and turn up the volume as loud as I can stand it. It's a beautiful thing.
Sometimes it's not so beautiful. Ya know when clients forget to wash their feet before they come in, or when they have big ol' nasty things growing on their backs.
Somewhere, someone said "don't let the little things bother you," but someone else said "it's the little things that count." Then another wise one said "Don't sweat the petty stuff and don't pet the sweaty stuff."
I agree with the latter of course.
My point. My point? I don't have a point.
But for real people lets clean it up around here, Aye

in the still of the...mid day

2008-09-12T07:24:00.000-07:00

The world of massage therapy is full of quiet time, peaceful sounds, soft lighting and most importantly for Arizona in August Air Conditioning.
Last week while in a session I had a new experience. The massage was going well. Client was a bit chatty. (I like those ones. I can only here the over head music so many times before the illusion of the ocean escapes me.) Suddenly there was no music. There was also no lights, No Power! and (you guessed it) NO Air Conditioning.
In August!
In Arizona!
Client: Well it's not a problem for me. You can just keep working.
Me: (on the outside) No problem. We can just light a candle . :)
(on the inside) I'm gunna die.
30 minutes later the power came back on. Apparently the whole block had lost power. But I feel justified in saying that we suffered the most at our little clinic. Not because we were able to carry on our business, but because in was a small room. closed in. with a heat radiating light. and my chatty friend was also a smelly one.
The up shot you ask?
The Stupid ocean stopped rolling in and the damn birds were finally quiet!
I gotta talk to the boss man about changing our internal music.

butterfingers

2008-07-09T13:08:00.000-07:00

so the other day i was stretching my clients arm. something I do in every massage, cause it feels good to stretch.
so I have this guys arm above his head its a little stiff so I extend the stretch a little longer and
BAM!
my hands are to slippery from the lotion and his hand flies out of my grip and
punches me in the stomach!

oh yea I got skills!
i wonder where they are?

Being a Pro

2008-06-20T16:16:00.001-07:00

The other day a client made a comment to me:

C: "Oh I don't know, your the expert..."
Me in my head: ha ah I'm an expert!?! People think I'm a professional. Really? Come on! I'm just goofy Lisa. A kid with a dream and a job. Professional?
Get outta here!

Me on the outside: what that means is that your patelar cartiledge is out of allignment.

What do you do........

2008-05-31T00:05:00.001-07:00

...........When you get lied to?
someone you know tells half truths and half stories?
Leaves out details that are important?
Tells you one thing, and tells everyone else another?
(I don't have children so don't go there.)
what do you do?

holidays

2008-05-27T03:36:00.000-07:00

i love days off

i love any reason not to have to be at work

i do enjoy work

but i the "have to" that comes along with work

i like knowing that i'm free

i like kickin it and not having to worry about money, bills, checks, and bank accounts

i got a sun burn today

no worries cause it was a day off and there were no cares

REALITY BITES!

Reasons I amuse my self, part one

2008-05-09T22:56:00.000-07:00

It was a busy day.
The days events all required different foot wear.
While getting into my car this morning I realized I had three pairs of shoes with me.
While getting out of my car this evening I realized I was bare foot.

Dear Kat

2008-05-03T09:12:00.000-07:00

Remember how a couple summers ago you turned me to the light and showed me the love of "Buffy?" (that was good times)
And before that, we bonded on the love of (ahem) "That's So Raven."
Today I discovered Discovery Kids. A cable channel for kids of course.
I watched a tv show called "Flight 29 Down." ( it was amusing and kind of like "Lost" but for kids.) It was starring a bunch of kids I don't recognize from anything, with the exception of the kid with the awesome hair and screen T's from "High School Musical." (CB)
I am addressing this blog to you Kat, because it seems to me that you would be the friend that would understand this sad life I live where child entertainment is still amusing to me.
My mother would be so proud.
I was doing laundry and didn't change the channel and the next show came on.
"Bindy's Jungle"
Oh yeah. I watched it.
I learned about wild dogs on three different continents and realized that this 8 year old knows more then me.
Sure her dad is the Croc. man.
Sure her mom is from Oregon. (yea mom!)
Sure she is reading a prompter as she goes.
But still....
she appears smarter then me...
(Why am I feeling competitive with an 8 Yr.Old?)
sigh

the point.

I am thinking about going to collage.
your thoughts?

2008-04-30T23:41:00.000-07:00

well folks. i dyed my hair.
it was supposed to be dark brown.
i left it on too long.
my hair is black.
i kinda like it.
but kinda don't like it.

the job is going well.
it can be exhausting.
some days i do energy work with the massage, those are the most tiring.
i did three that way today.
two of them were 80 min.

this is the most boring post i have ever made.

lets liven things up a bit.

it was an average day in the sunny town of Scottsdale Arizona. There was a slight breeze.....

SO I PULLED OUT MY GUUUUUN!....
( that was for Em.)

bla bla blaaaa.

2008-04-23T00:27:00.000-07:00

So I'm not moving away. Yet.
My life here in the U.S. will continue but I am curious as to what is next.

moving on...

I learned a new modality of massage today. (hot stone)
I'm excited to practice and do it at work.

I am in the process of reading a book. And now thanks to Jay I have like 12 books I want to read.

I just hung new posters in my room. Yes they are anatomy charts and my room now looks like half office half sleeping, tv watching, dressing, grooming place. But hey... I can hang.

I got new shoes today and I'm looking forward to wearing them a lot. Mostly cause there are 4 new pairs!

Even though I had to work today I still got time by the pool so all is well.

I'm making good tips in the new job and money matters seem to be falling into place.

I did drop my phone today and broke it. But it's all good cause I'm due for an upgrade!

It's all good, yo!

modern livin

2008-04-10T08:36:00.000-07:00

I'M MOVING A W A Y ! ! !
I've had it with gas prices!
I've had it with needing things that I don't want for myself!
I've had it with living just to pay bills to people I don't know, care for, or respect!
I've had it with living a life that means someone else can live off my money!
I've had it with Uncle Sam taking his cut before I'm allowed to get paid!
I've had it with being given my measly portion every OTHER Friday!

I want to move to a far away place. Live in a hut. Maybe become a fisherman. I hate fish but maybe I could work something out with one of the other locals, a trade of some kind.

I just don't want this. This being here to pay "The Man"...........

THAT'S WHAT IT IS! ! ! !
I HATE THE MAN!!!!
Stupid Man!

Stupid stupid man!

I want a more perfect place.
I want a world were no one needs gas.
I want a world were there is no "man" only just men.
I want a world were things are simple and not so complex.
I want a world were freedom means actual freedom.
I want a world were play is still innocent.
I want a world were popcorn doesn't burn......
(okay strike the popcorn thing)

Can I find such a place. I don't need Wonderland. I need vacation. I need away.
I need....a second job. stupid man.

I Understand....

2008-04-03T07:25:00.000-07:00

1) I understand...Why people enjoy science fiction.

2) I understand...Why mothers tell you to clean up your room.

3) I understand...Why crazy people need space.

4) I understand...Why Brittney Spears had a career.

5) I understand...Why young children have need of a bed time.

6) I understand...Why muscles get tight.

7) I understand...Why its funny when Worf says "delicious."

8) I understand...Why domino's are entertaining.

9) I understand...Why its cool to wear sunglasses.

10) I understand...Why the X-Files was good TV.

11) I understand...Why Dolphins are cute.

12) I understand...Why a dramatic pause can be so effective.

13) I understand...Why people endure pain to look cool or pretty.

14) I understand...Why Em is afraid of spiders.

15) I understand...Why bikers make me weak in the knees.

What I don't understand is how Paris Hilton has a career? Or how she is viewed as a "roll model?" Who are these self loathing young people who say to them selves......"ya that Paris Hilton. That's what I wanna be."
It's like those old commercials for a drug free America.
You know the one....
"No one ever says. I wanna be a junkie when I grow up."
Why Paris?
Why have you brought yourself out and about. Why do I have to know who you are?
Money sucking. Porno making. Self destructive. Angry. Lonely. Misplaced little doll.
Why can't you take those billions of dollars to a good shrink or a "Life Coach" and learn how to be a human being, not a star.
Be your own star little buddy.
Just keep scrapin' along.
Call me. Maybe I can talk ya down from that ledge of disarray.

Poor Paris.

Poor us.

Tuesday Off

2008-04-01T10:25:00.001-07:00

I hate Tuesday's! I always have. I understand that most of the world has this strong aversion to Monday. But I can handle a Monday. Getting up, being busy all day, ending the day tired because i worked at a disappointing job all day...I can handle that. But doing it all again the next day, now THAT pisses me off!
I have a new job working at a spa in Scottsdale...and guess what?
I HAVE TUESDAYS OFF! ! ! !
Yes world you can't bring me down. Throw at me what you will. It will be to no avail. Ya see I have a secret. I have some thing special in my heart. Something that you can't take away from me.
I.
Have Tuesday's off!
I'm going to the Zoo today...Not what I did yesterday. I worked yesterday.
Today the Zoo.
And I will work tomorrow.
But today is here, and it begins with freedom. (begin whistling "glory glory hallelujah now)
Freedom from work.
Freedom from care.
Freedom from responsibility.
Freedom from.......what every the %@$# I say!

Tuesday off.
You should try this.

What happened to the dream?

2008-03-28T10:46:00.000-07:00

I'm at a lose my friends. I want so much to pursue the dream but I am feeling a bit discouraged. Everything in my life seems to be to "work for the bills." I hate this feeling. I want to act. I want to do more then have the everyday life.
Stupid being a grown up!
What does a girl do when the reality of life is fighting for the lead roll. I don't want to play the roll of everyday. I want to do more. I want to BE more.
But everything is money. And I don't have any. All I have is talent and that at best is getting rusty. And that wont buy plane tickets or pay an agent or afford classes.
They say if you have something to fall back on you will.
This bites! HARD!
Is there a time in life when one is really supposed to "give up" on dreams? I don't want that to be true. We are dreamers. We are players. I am more then everyday Jane American Billpayer.
Have you ever had a dream?
Are you fulfilling yours?
Do you like what you are doing with your life now?
Do you feel there is more to life then what you are doing?

Next Up...

2008-03-24T23:23:00.000-07:00

The Next thing I"m going to learn to do is put pictures on my blog and on face book. Oh the times they are aheadin ' well ahead . And it's time to get ahead. Yea Me!
I'm getting ahead.

IM BACK!!!!

2008-03-23T15:14:00.001-07:00

Bless You Jay! I am back to the land of blog! I was out of it. I couldn't get back into my blog. And now here I am one year later through the assistance of my dear good buddy Jay! Bless that man!

Well reader so much has happened in the year plus that I feel it necessary to skip past all of it and forge on ahead.

I currently live in Chandler Arizona. It is always warm. And that keeps me happy. I love it here. I live with my best friend. Which has its highs and lows. (we all know how girls get when the estrogen syncs up) I'm positive that I am the Crazy room mate. And I wear it with pride.

There will be more to attest to in the coming days. But for now I must go watch Wayne's World with Jay. The Beloved.

I'm Back! hehe

GRADUATION

2007-03-04T20:11:00.000-08:00

Yup it's coming! i will graduate in two weeks!
This week will be filled with finals and finishing all the odds and ends. And ten my friends, on to victory.
Question...does anyone know where Victory lives? We have some things to discuss in the next couple of weeks.

Derek....new and improved

2007-02-19T09:12:00.000-08:00

Picture it, a warm Feb. afternoon. The kids are leaving school for the day. Some are on the playground others are just wanting to get home.
And then there was one. Derek. He stands far away from the crowd. He is a loud boy. There is a wind on. The boy faces into the wind and shouts. No Porpose, no frustration. Not a scream, but a boyish hollar. Fullfilling a need to just make noise. He doesn't know I am watching him from were I sit. He yells with all he has. I am so much more then entertained!!!! I laugh out loud at the sight of this kid just a hollarin' to the wind. Only because I understand that need!

confession....

2006-12-10T00:12:00.000-08:00

#1) I have never seen any of the Rocky films. (Sorry Kat)

#2) When you are sad....I am sad. (what's that about)

#3) I like it better when my brother is in jail.(I worry less)

#4) I prefer people who are Quarkie. (business is boring)

#5) I want to audition for American Idol. (Don't say "do it")

#6) I have absolutley NO desire to EVER be married.

#7) I wish I were an Oscar Mayer Wiener

The End

A great new look

2006-11-21T22:34:00.000-08:00

Reyna wore a new hat today.
It looked like unto a jesture hat. On the ends it has little pom poms.
Eleni walks up, gives the ends a light tug so that the top is flat, and say "there. Now you look like a pinata."

THE END

It starts...

2006-11-15T10:03:00.000-08:00

Cold and flu season has begun. I was down four kids yesterday and the ones that were there were having a "cough Olympics." Beware gang the stories are about to get better.
Think of it 15 kids. 1 class room. 2 teachers. the possiblities are endless.

A Horse Of A Different Color

2006-11-06T23:43:00.000-08:00

Saturday I was at the mall with my bosses kids. (she was out of town and I stayed with her kids.) And were playing with those grab machines trying to win a toy from the game. ( I never win these things.) And that's what I thought in my head. "I Never Win These Things."
Suddenly there was a voice in my head. It wasn't mine. It was Meggie's! (one of my massage instructors.)
It was the old "Possitive Affermation. Will it to happen" lecture. (Yea, loud and clear!)

So I tried it. An "experiment on the word" if you will.

I said. "I'm going to win this." (it was a Care Bear) So I thought "I'll give it to Meggie to give to Maddie after I win it." (Maddie is her daughter.)

I Got it in one shot.

It was so COOL!

THEN...

I told Shannon "Dude you have to try this." I gave her two quarters and SHE GOT IT.

I thought "This is Amazing!!!"

"Matt. Come 'ere. Take these two quarters and try to get something from the grab machine. Believe you'll get it. Don't doubt it." HE GOT IT!

It was the coolest thing ever!

From there the day just kept getting better. Mostly durring my clinic shift. I had 5 AMAZING Bodywork sessions. And I got Fab. evaluations from all of my clients. One of them a staff member who gets worked on allthe time. And another who has been coming to the clinc for the past 10 years and said that in "about 250 Massages" i was among his top five.
It was s o cool cause all of my clients were like "Dude you are going to be able to work anywhere you want. Your amazing"
I could go into way more detail but its too long.
Totally a Supper Awesome Amazing Day!!!!!

I LOVE BODY WORK! ! ! !

Your mom Called.....

2006-10-31T10:37:00.000-08:00

It's Halloween. I'm fat. and I'm comin' ta get ya.

the kids speaks out

2006-10-28T11:07:00.000-07:00

This week one of my kids ran up to me and gave me a hug then she said "Teacher Lisa your skinny.....Kinda"

Little....

Kids

2006-09-08T02:20:00.000-07:00

Arora: Teacher Lisa I'm fast!

Me: Who said you could be so fast?

Arora: My dad.

Me: Is your dad fast?

Arora: No. He's fat.

I challenge Anyone to beat that. She's only four. And she's already getting the hang of slammin' her parents. It was a proud day for me.

Siblings

2006-09-05T22:59:00.000-07:00

Why is is that these people are so capable of bringing you to the brink of your sanity? Truely we care for them. Only those we let in are capable of this drive. We were raised together (to a point) and we feel we know them. Sometimes it's easier to be disapointed in them because we expect more from them. They should "know better" or something like that. We see what they CAN be. And we want that for them. And when they fall short of that, are we not more disapointed then we would be if it were just another somebody?
I'm not saying we are the perfect siblings either. We must be disapointing to them too. Otherwise they would call more. Or something. Rihgt?

Cute little guy

2006-09-03T17:50:00.000-07:00

JACOB(4 yrs old.): Teacher Kerri you look pretty today. You look like Lisa, but your Kerri.

He is of course my new best friend!

Dog eat dog world

2006-08-13T10:03:00.000-07:00

No for real gang do we really need to have people in this world who dress up thier dogs? Does the dog really need that experience? Come on folks! What are we doing?

job searching

2006-08-02T13:27:00.000-07:00

I know I want a new job.
I know I'm more then done with child care.
I know I don't really want to go back into customer service.
But gang I've never done anything else. My typing "skills" are laughable.
But I need to make more $$ then I do at the day care.

Is there a dream job out there that will pay more $'s per hour. that I can do well and be happy doing? And hopefully only have to work 30 hours a week so that I can keep up with school. Oh and can it be close to provo or easy to get to by bus because I don't have a car?
Where is the Oprah Fairy when I need her?

a complex man

2006-07-28T22:02:00.000-07:00

Today i rode the bus to school as usual. I went early for a study session before my final. ( I got an A on the final. barely) I had a different driver then normal.
This dude was crazy! Every time a woman got on the bus he was very nice and smiled all the normal things a bus driver should be. Every time a man got the bus he either tried to leave them, tell them they didn't have enough money or (my personal favorite)try to run them over. There was a man and his 10 yr old son getting thier bikes off of the front bike rack and he kept reving the engine at them! I was thinking "Dude. What's your damage. They aren't waisting time. Chill out!"
He was so odd.

Sometimes I wonder what leads a person to a job. And what keeps them there. (Kinda like my job right now.)

Anyhow the guy was a freak and I wonder....how many more are there?

Sean Patrick Sparks

2006-07-24T21:37:00.001-07:00

Today my kids were out on the playground. As usual. Playing and making up there own fun, when I over heard my little Sean:
My name is Sean Patrick Sparks. Someday. When I'm a man. My name will be Captain. Jack. Sparrow.
Then He tilted one eyebrow at the girl he was talking to as if to say "Ya see I've already got a pirate eye."

could i see that again

2006-07-23T11:37:00.000-07:00

okay don't be scared wheen i tell you i have a new hobbie. ive been playing in the bars as of late. doing some people watching and dancing my size 8 bum into a size 6. good times.
last night while shakin it at the big easy a guy was tryng to pick up on my friend lisa.
basicly the pick up line was something like
i saw you and your friend last night. but i wasnt sure it was you until your friend [me] turned round and i recognized her....pa dunk a dunk.

that's right people my toosh can be pulled from a line up.
there were a lot of bums in that place last night. and mine stood out above the crowd.
way to go. i wonder what am i going to do with all that junk up in my trunk.

somebody call 911

2006-07-02T14:26:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday i was awakened by the sound of my cell phone ringing at 7 in the morning. it was a 911 operator.
O:Are you okay ma'am?
Me: huh?
O: This is 911. we got a call from this number. are you okay?
...long story short i some how rolled over my phone while slepping an dialed 911 and left them with an open line for about 12 minutes.
My bad 911. My Bad.

been a while?

2006-06-24T07:30:00.000-07:00

so as many of you know the internet in out apt. has been down. but hey all is we for we have returned.
whats new?
whats new...
whats new?
I got nothin' I'm still loving school and getting lots of clients to practice on. I love the work and i love the education.
I can't wait till I have a licence and can make money at this. get it while its free kids!
I could use a new job though. I love my little kids but it's time for teacher Lisa to make money and pay her bills with out stress.
next Sat. is the childrens parade in provo. I'm clowing the event. ya'll come see. I'm funny.

it's a bird! it's a plane...

2006-05-28T14:56:00.000-07:00

the other day while on the playground with my little pre schoolers, we were attacked by the mother of all things that fly. "attackd" in the sence that this large circling creature swooped and dove numerous times. Trying its best to intimidate we two legged beings below. i don't know what her intensions were. She was carring something, probably left overs from one of her previous attacks. this gi-huge-ic monster continued her efforts for a few minutes. I got a good look at her....this was no bird. nor was she a plane. it was a mutant of a queen bee. Her size and wing span impressive. i most certaiinly wanted no contact with her and i was greaful when she finally flew away. goodness knows i didn't want to look like a giant pansey. i most definattely did not welcome the opportunity to fight this worthy apponate. mostly cause i would have lost....she was bigger then me.

Mana from heven

2006-05-26T07:41:00.000-07:00

yesterday ii got pooped on by some jacked up bird. not so much a plus.
that is all.

yea buddy

2006-05-14T11:47:00.000-07:00

today is a good day. I'll tll you why.
I hav clarity for my future.
My brothers are doing well.
Ma is healthy and winning.
I'm in school. and makin' the grade.
I have good friends.
I'm leaving my job for something better.
Jay is almost done with season 5.
Brian is going to days.
I get to have massage twice this week.
I haven't been in a mens room in over 24 Hours.
yea. life is good.

Party in the Potty

2006-05-13T16:39:00.000-07:00

Today I walked into a mens room.
I was confused.
It was pink.
Then I saw the urinals.
Then I realized where I was.
Then I laughed out loud.

Dudes of the world. I know your secret.

'Oint learly taken"

2006-05-01T12:28:00.000-07:00

So there was this one time (last week) were I sent a semi formal email to a teacher friiend of mine. and I made the miiistake of typing on Namaaaaa's lap top. (theeee keys stiick)
she didn't answer back untiillll tooday.
I figuered out wy.
she couldn't read tthe thing.
With phraases like "oint learly taken." who could blame her. Poor kid probably things I'm some kind of nut job.

Point Clearly Taken.

Gotiit!
I mean.........Got iit
Nope.......Got it.
Yeeeeesssss
whew

Here let me get that for you

2006-04-24T21:43:00.000-07:00

Today I was run over by a woman pushing a shopping cart in Wal mart. Nothing as tramatic as Em's broken leg story. But I tell you what, that is going to be one big ol' bruise on my hip. Then as if that were not enough I cut my hand on a shelf while trying to get to some soup. Oy the things I go through for that preschool.

I love that you get me

2006-04-22T19:59:00.000-07:00

I fall down.
A Lot.
I fall down, I get hurt, it usually ends in tears.
I'm clumsey.
I try to stay up. Balanced. Normal.
I fall down harder.
It's not good.

I am however a little proud of it. Only in the fact that I haven't died yet. No Major injuries needing surgery or large scale correctoins. Stuff like that.

And now I have a comrad. A fellow accident prone pal that is not ashamed of her falling...ness.

Bless you my friend. Bless you.

Ais (ace)

2006-04-20T12:46:00.000-07:00

A couple days ago Ais (that's what I call her) was playing on the playground. She and another girl were yelling at a bird.
"Come on Bird. Come on Bird. What you got. Come on Bird."
Really yelling at this Bird to
"Bring it. Bird."

just then the bird swooped down past them and they screamed and ducked and

did it over and over and over. they AND the bird.
I was thoroghly amused.

Jordin my tiger

2006-04-17T12:17:00.000-07:00

today i was playing with one of my tiger boys. we were havng a tickle war. it was all kinds of fun. he was wiinning.....I was winning......then he was winning.
I was winning...then my little guy says "Teacher Lisa stop. I'm gunna tell your husband."
so I said "when you find him tell him to call me."

not really. Just like Angelica...I had no response to that.

J.O.

2006-04-13T23:09:00.000-07:00

Today I saw JO. He's 8. He was walking down the street. By himself. alone. eight.
NOT GOOD.
I was driving the big A.T. van. I dropped off the kids and my partner teacher at A.T.
Then I ran down the street to meet up with little JO.
The Gist of it:
Me: Hey Little JO. What are you doing? Where are you going? Where are your Four older syblings or mom or grandma or whoever was supposed to pick you up?
JO: Well I can't find them so I'm walking home.
Me: Where do you live?
JO: BFE that way.
Me: well how about we go to A.T. and call grandma to come get you?
JO: okay
15 min later
Angery man who was supposed to be picking up the boy arrives at AT dirty looks at boy and ready to do some hollerin'
grandma arrives 26 sec. after angery man.
then they all go out the door
grandma: Thank you Lisa
Me: No problem G'ma just glad he's safe.
Grandma: me too.
Angery man: (scowle)

I don't have point or a moral but wow what a day huh?

Eat the burned Part...

2006-04-05T15:56:00.000-07:00

...it's good for your teeth.

that is what my ma used to say to me when I was young.

I grew up. I stopped eating the burned part.

I went to the dentist yesterday.

Mom was right. DONT ask me how. but I need 4 fillings a root canal and an entire tooth REMOVED. And then some odds and ends.

I'm.....................gunna go burn a pizza.

Pressure Much...?

2006-03-30T22:17:00.000-08:00

I was involvd in an accident today. some lady hit my bumper as i was driving the big Advnture Time van. it was all fast. no one was hurt, but dude ya wanna talk pressure. Drive a van with 10 kids that belong to 10 different sets of parents. Parents who might well be very angery with you if you were to say.....get into an accident with their child in your ride. And then you will understand PRESSURE.

in response to Em

2006-03-26T10:34:00.000-08:00

5 movies you can watch over and over
1) anything geared towards children
2) Steel Magnolias
3) Raising Helen
4) joe Versus the volcano
5) hello dolly

5 embarrassing songs you know all the words to:
1) anything by Reba McEntire
2) ice ice baby - Vanilla Ice
3) Baby got back - ?????
4) hail holy queen - sister act nuns
5) in pictures - Linda Davis

5 Memorable halloween costumes:
1) Raggity Ann - ??
2) a missionary - 21
3) Belle - 26
4) a doctor - ??
5) a garbage can - ??

5 celebraties you sespect to be alien:
1) the entire cast of Gilmore Girls
2) Steve Bushemy
3) Molly Shannon
4) Jackie Chan
5) David Duchovney

5 occupations you know you could not have:
1) Plumber. - I'm against crack in public
2) Politian. - I don't even like thinking about the future
3) Reporter. - I don't like the news
4) poet. - I can't ryme
5) Lawyer. - i can't spell big words

5 books I have recently read outside of school:
1) Frog and toad are friends
2) the magicians nephew
3) No David
4) Wicked
5) an idiot girls christmas

5 ways to spend a perfect afternoon
1) hiking
2) playin softball with friends
3) rollerbladding with my boys
4) watching a long movie
5) hanging out at the pool

5 Lines you have blatenly stolen from a movie, TV, commercials, etc.:
1) "if she doesn't back off I'm gunna spike her Tab with Draino" -Adventues in Babysitting
2) "come here ya big bald beautiful man" -X Files
3) "he's got the heart of a champian" -Homestar Runner
4) "Pickle claw...Toliet paper claw..." -Ellen
5) "oh Honey. No" -Will and Grace

5 not your favorite foods but foods you eat:
1) Veggies
2) skittles
3) frozen pizza's
4) pudding
5) Candy

5 People that must respond ASAP:
1)everyone
2)I know
3)is already
4)doing
5)this

Weekend times

2006-03-11T23:24:00.000-08:00

for two consecutive weeks i've had awesome weekends. It's been so great.
Last weekend on Fridayafter work a buch of us from the preschool went to dinner at Sweets. (awesome food) ate for hours tried some new food. it was great after that three of us drove up to SLC to Chicken out of going clubbing. yea we got all the way to SLC and the brave one chickened out. LAME.
Saturday rocked...we went to an awsome villa dance party. oh good times. The Chad can thow a mean party Aye, folks.
Sunday I went to my new ward with Em. Sweet!! I like it there.

This weekend was the same kind of good times. Friday night we went to dinner at an Elsalvadorian resturant. SO GOOD. Then we went to a Villa bash and chased Pulse the leperchan. It rocked!
Saturday I ran all over town makin' a movie with Jay. Came home and got ready to go to the Harry Krishna Bash. I got color splashed and caught on fire. It was totally wicked!!
Sunday did the new ward thing and finished my first week of homework. And now Jay and I are putting the finishing touches on the film.
Life is good when it's bussy.

dirty ball

2006-02-25T09:45:00.000-08:00

I was playing basketball with my boys at outside time. they like to play "dirty ball" that means they get to use their ball to knock your ball off the court so you have to chase your ball down while they shoot. its very.....fun?
so my good little buddy hit my ball out four times. so it was time to turn the table. i grabbed my ball and bounced his ball high.

then KARMA

I hit his ball, it hit the rim of the hoop and bounced back and hit me in the face.
can you say fat lip. bloody nose and teary eyes.

karma.

the force

2006-02-21T17:40:00.000-08:00

today one of my boys told me had "the force"
"look" he said
then he licked his hand and pushed it slowly at another girl. She, of course, leaned back to get away from "the hand" and he said.
" see. the force."
Man I love that kid.

by request: Ring-Pop Boy

2006-02-14T12:23:00.000-08:00

we had been dating for a while. the relationship had run it's course and I was preparing to end it. I had given it a weeks grace period but it was no help. we had a date that friday night. I would tell hm then. at the last minute he told me he had invited some friends to join us for dinner. SUPRISE. (never think that a control freak will like a suprise. we never do.)
So we went to dinner with the gang. Good Times.
Then we were to go to a movie. With the Gang. SUPRISE #2
I found a reason not to go.
(I think he thought I wanted to be alone with him. true. 'cause it was break up hour.)
Randomly we went to visit some more of his friends. (I think he was showing me off. FREAK)
Finaly we went to a park. (SUPRISE #3. my turn.) we talked a while and just as I opedned my mouth to tell him I needed some space he says I have something for you.
(Still SUPISE #3. not yet my turn i guess.)
(SUPRISE #4)
He puts on some music.(Titanic)
He has me get out of the car.....to slow dance in the parking lot.(I don't dance)
We dance toward the back of the car and he opens the trunk.(Am I about to die?)
He pulls out some flowers.(Oh gee. I feel another suprise coming on.)
We dance.(I Don't Dance.)
He spins me out and I fall.( I DON'T DANCE MORON!)
He picks me up but he stays down. (says...........lots of words.)
He presents me with.......A Ring Pop!!!!??!?!?!
A RING POP?
a ring pop.
yea buddy glad to know you were so sure of this that you went for the gold. glad to know you tried to learn stuff about ME so that when you asked ME to marry YOU, you'd be sure to present ideas That Would Appeal To All Those OTHER GIRLS You Dated BEFORE me.

Oh Ring Pop Boy. I can't marry you. For you do not know who I am. And you have done nothing to show me that you know or CARE about Who I Am. You see I'm not an ideal. I'm a person. An Individual if you will. And that seems to be a consept that has escaped you.
Thank you for this lovely hard cand and plastic. But there's a reason why DIMONDS are a girls best friend.
DIMONDS are forever. Hardened sugar will only last the night.

There it is Nessa. ENJOY!

chocolate

2006-02-11T12:05:00.000-08:00

for six weeks i played an adict. i had to have chocolate at very turn. i fear that the adiction has lasted. all i can think about is it's rich tastey goodness. some of you saw the show. you might think why not miss the friendships or the audiances or for crin' out loud the lip action.
the story was about Ruth indeed. but the love affairs she had with Albert and Bill only come second to her love of chocolate. i think that is the one thing i will keep from the character.
Pear taught me to be kind to animals.
Hannigan taught me to love children
Ruth gave me a true love of the sweetness.

the only problem is now that i'm broke and there is no chocolate in my house.
Evil thy name is SNICKERS.

a moment of trueth

2006-02-01T23:35:00.000-08:00

i have a confession to make.
i heard my co actor sing on saturday....he sang a song from jekle & hyde. i knew he could sing. we all know he can sing. he's going to vegas to be n a gerat production of phantom. he's good right.

oh no my friends he's DAMN GOOD.

i'm not gunna lie. i cried a little. not sure why. but there i was sitting in a mostly empty theater. just chillin' with th cast. Allen conviced Ben to sing for us.

DAMN i cried. He's good.

suggesions

2006-01-19T13:01:00.001-08:00

i need to find a way to bring up to the administrative staff that our weekly meetings are more useless then helpful. true as a new teacher for the first year it was quite helpful. but year after year the meetings don't change. i don't know how the teachers that have been there for years and years stand it. watching them durring the meeting is like waiting for a bomb to explode. Honestly sitting through this 30 min. meeting is not only patronizing but redundant and rediculous.
any body have an idea other then distruction on how to remedy this situation?

the mullet mans better half

2006-01-08T15:41:00.000-08:00

so most of you know the story of H's "mullet man"
a couple of weeks ago i met his brother or cousin or some kind of relative. the chld was not in his right mind.
the conversation frightened me as he gazed at me with one eye and the other spun wildly around in his head.
none of the conversation made sence. it was akward. it was weird. and it made me a better person for having survived it.
H, i hope to never have the full understanding of what you endured so long ago. but my dear i do in some small way feel your pain.

JOY

2006-01-08T12:51:00.000-08:00

today my scriptures were found. i lost them in october. my joy is complete.

Happy Happy Happy me.

Dereck

2006-01-03T12:47:00.000-08:00

Today my little Dereck said while talking to another child "for Christmas we went to Salt Vegas."
He's my new favorite.

S M R T

2005-12-25T20:07:00.000-08:00

so i have been meaning to write down some of my new favorite quotes from my kids.

the kids on Rudolph,
"....and if you ever saw it you would even say it BLOWS" connor

the kids on shoes.
"Teacher Lisa my dada got me super fast super cool super suave new shoes." Nakoa

the kids on Santa,
"aaaaaaahhhh yaaaaaay wooooooooooo." all of them

the kids on cars,
"i like my moms car. it has a lot of things in it." Jordan

Alexi on Moshood,
Me: Alexi get off of Moshood........kidding
Alexi can't say his name so she calls him "Tissue"

the end

oh the children

2005-12-21T21:32:00.001-08:00

so the kids are on one. they are killing me. don't they know that "santa is coming"
my jonnathan my sweet little jonnathatn has taken up whining. like nobody's business. oh he's good at too. too good at it.
the other day one of my boys filled a toilet to the rim with paper towels.
and why do i have to constantly repeat myself about not licking things they shouldn't be licking and keeping their sleeves out of their mouths.
is it so hard.
they've started this new habbit of talking over me when i am addressing the class. wonder where they got that.AMY (ps today was her last day. Hooray.
i want my sweet kids back. i want a partner teacher that knows SOMETHING about children.
i want a teacher next door who knows something anything.

i want heather back.......now

it wasn't my day

2005-12-04T17:37:00.000-08:00

-i woke up an hour before my alarm
-it's saterday.
-i can go back to sleep. even the sales don't start for another two hours.
nope aparently my body isn't sleepy...
-tv?
-why not
-oh look law and order

6:00am

SALES!!!!!!
SHOPPING!!!
BLISS!!!!!!
(i like early mornings. and early morning sales. there is no one around. barely even sales reps asking if they can help you find something.)

-work christmas party lunch thing....
-yea friends and fun
-ops i tripped in front of everybody.
-just because you dont want to be the stupid volenteer doesnt mean you ALL need to shout out my name. get your own damn ideas. freaks
-ops i'm among the volenteers
-ops my fly is down
-can i go home now.

-movies friends yea
-i'm sleepy
-what do you mean it's only 9:00 pm
-10:something good night
-10: something + a few minutes.....i'm teaching tomorrow...choooooou (ch as in "K")
-i'll do it in the morning
-good night

i would if i could but i cant

2005-12-03T15:32:00.000-08:00

welcome to the holidays Ritz style. where all year long we ignore each other for the most part. then ma gets to fake like shes offended when we don't all come home. as far as i know non of us are going to make it home this year. sean has to work kevin can't yet leave the state. and i can't go...i have rehearsal. and the biggest reason of all. none of us can afford to travel.

its cold and flu season

2005-11-17T15:21:00.000-08:00

the children have all lost there emotional stubility. these people can no longer make it more then two hours without an emotional outburst of some kind. its like the flu bug has mutated into some sort of mind altering. emotionaly warping infection that has cut off there memory on how to behave at school. or that Teacher Lisa has rules that she expects you to remember.
then again maybe its my partner teachers fault. the fact that they have no boundaries or rules in the afternoons. the fact that she has rules that she doesn't hold them to. the fact that she has decided that it's okay to let kids rome free in a structured setting and give them nothing to do. yea that's why their parents are paying out buckets of money. so that their kids will be confussed as to what is expected of them.
don't get me wrong. i know kids need freedom but they need rules too. there is a balance between the two. i know that balance. i've worked ith kids along time. they need to feel safe in there boundaries. they'll push you to your limit. i know this. she SHOULD know this. she's makin' me crazy.

someone should move it

2005-11-10T20:29:00.000-08:00

it was a moment of confusion for the poor young girl. she's a very sweet little girl. loveing and sweet to all people. i was holding her and it was time for naps. i sat her down and she turned (quickly) to go to class....
oooooooops! she ran her faced directly into the corner of the door. yea HUGE bruse.

Me Again?

2005-11-10T15:36:00.000-08:00

i have to tell you the long and the short of it.

The Long:
i have had a personal struggle going on within myself for the past two years. it's been ugly, lonely, disapointing, hurtful , and draining. i wont go into it.
today i see some light at the end of the tunnel.
i tried to live my life without something dear to me. i thought it was what i was "supposed" to do. i know today that i was wrong. and i am glad to feel like i have hope in my future.

The Short:
i had an audition this week. i got a call back. i wont know until tomorrow what the end result is.
However
i haven't had an audition in two years. (a little more)
i have been trying to be something i'm not. i tried to leave acting behind like it wasn't what i was supposed to be doing it any more.
but today i feel like me again. i feel like i found something that was precious to me.
i guess i'm saying i learned something. you can't be something your not. and / or you have to be true to yourself to become your best self. something i have always known but somehow let myself forget. the Lord dose teach us in a mannor most effective for our own selves. i am so glad He knows me like that. i feel i have also regained my dearest friend. not that i lost Him, but that i know Him better because He knows me.

i do love the gosple. it is so complete.

UPDATE: 11/12/05

I got it!!! I'm am "Ruth" in the show titled "Dear Ruth"
Hale Center theater in Orem. the show opens Dec. 30th and runs through Feb. 4th
yippee i'm an actor again!!!!

scarey spiders

2005-11-07T19:55:00.000-08:00

this is the best spider story ever!
this mornig young jordin was in my class with his big sister and an assortment of other mixed age group kids.
teacher mindy came to get her three year olds. (jordin among them)there was a spider on the floor next to jordin. in a moment of great ignorance mindy pointed out to jordin that the spider was crawling under him.
surprisingly enough he didn't freak out.......right away.
he thought it was cool, so he picked it up and threw it into the air. laughing and smiling. he caught it and threw it again. but that's when the trama started. ya see as the spider fell to him the second time he go.....well.....scared. and began to cry and....well scream. and all together came unglued. and freaked out.
for some reason the boy didn't expect that the spider he had so lovingly tossed into the air.....would return.
understand that the spider made no attempt to hurt him in any way. the child just freaked out. for 12 minutes. crying and sobing.
it was fully entertaining.

Prison vs. Work

2005-11-05T07:26:00.000-08:00

I just got this emailed from my brother. i had a giggle or too.

Just in case you ever got these two mixed up, This should make things
a
bit more clear....

IN PRISON you spend the majority of your time in an 8X10 cell.
AT WORK you spend the majority of your time in a 6X8 cubicle.

IN PRISON you get three meals a day.
AT WORK you only get a break for one meal and you pay for it.

IN PRISON you get time off for good behavior.
AT WORK you get more work for good behavior.

IN PRISON the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
AT WORK you must carry around a security card and open all the doors
for yourself.

IN PRISON you can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK you get fired for watching TV and playing games.

IN PRISON you get your own toilet.
AT WORK you have to share with some idiot who pees on the toilet.

IN PRISON they allow your family and friends to visit.
AT WORK you can't speak to your family.

IN PRISON all expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work
required.
AT WORK you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they
deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.

IN PRISON you spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out.
AT WORK you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside
bars.

IN PRISON you must deal with sadistic wardens.
AT WORK they are called managers

noodles and children

2005-11-03T17:25:00.000-08:00

today was spaghetti day. have you ever watched a three or four year old try to eat a noodle...with a fork. it's like these compoents were never ment to meet up. it's like a bad joke. a child a noodle and a fork walk up to a bar......
really i could have watched them for a full hour. there were several different tactics going on at the table. first there was the wind up and slip. the child would get the noodle on the fork get it to witin an inch of their mouth and the noodle would abandon ship. next was the dig and shove. after missing the last bite the child would jam the fork into the plate along with their free hand and then using both hands shovel the noodles into the mouth. when that didn't work the fork was dropped the face was put as close to the plate as possible and the suck was enforced.
slurp it up kids it's the only way to eat a noodle. next time i think i will join them in the slurp. 'cause really it's very effective.

whining

2005-11-01T18:39:00.000-08:00

do you ever have those times when you just want to forgo hygeine. forget you know what a shower is. or move far away to a place where showers are rare like......the back allies of zimbabwa.
basicly i am tired an there is way to much energy involved in being clean right now.
we better get a new cook soon. i can't take this opening everyday. okay i can. but i'm tired today and i want to whine.
whine whine whine whine whine.
k done.

Happy Halloween

2005-10-31T16:41:00.000-08:00

today as you well know is halloween. and i'll tell you the trueth about kids and this day. there is something inside them that can not take a day od excitement and tradition. I'll tell you how i know.
SIX kids went home today with verious fevers, pink eye and what not. do they not know that this is a time to gather goods from strangers. and be out all night and ya know.....PLAY!
well i'm going out for ALL the kids tonight. i'm gunna work it!

The Freak Show Continues

2005-10-27T12:54:00.000-07:00

Well the kids never cease to amaze me.
Today my Jonnathan was holding a bug. Not that that is amazing, but the rest of the story makes me shiver a little bit. Ya see He's holding this bug and I'm thinking "GERMS" put it down! So I walk across the playground to the lad and I'm about to say "Jon Jon, put the bug down. He wants to go home now."
As I get to him he turn and say "See! It's a bee."
However the revelation was a bit harsher considering he was not holding bee, but a WASP!
The kids holding a freaking WASP.!!!!
On the Outside: Cool Jon Jon. Put him down now K.
On the Inside: EYAHHHH! Put it down ! Put it down! Put it down you crazy child that thing can sting you multipal times and I have no clue weather or not you have an allergy to such. Drop it PSYCHO!
All and all it went over well. He put it down and I was left to wonder how he was able to coax the thing into his hand without being stung. Also who is this childs daddy? Candyman?

skeletons

2005-10-26T17:12:00.000-07:00

SO IT'S ALMOST HALLOWEEN. TO KEEP THE KIDS IN LINE I HAVE A STAMP THAT THEY CAN EARN.
THERE ARE SEVERAL DIFFERENT STAMPS THEY CAN GET. MOSTLY THEY LIKE THE SKELETON.
I HAVE ONE LITTLE GIRL WHO LOVES BABIES. SHE LOVES BABY EVERYTHING.
HERES THE MORBID PART. I SAID "WHO WANTS A SKELETON?" ALL OF THE KIDS SAID THEY WANTED ONE. THEY SAID "I LOVE THE SKELETON" THEN THE BABY LOVERS SAYS "I LIKE BABY SKELETONS."
YEA SHE'S FREAKIN' ME OUT

Older

2005-10-25T16:30:00.000-07:00

I must be getting older. I had an idea for a great post today. But now I can't even remember what it was about. Sad but true. I'm an old woman. just promise me that at the funeral there will be no blonds. (Nothing personal to my blond friends, that was just the last thing my grandma said before SHE died.)

Random Stupid Boy

2005-10-23T12:36:00.000-07:00

So I had a rough night last night. Ate too much dairy and for the first time I threw up a few times from the cows rich goodness. I was awake until about 7:00 this morning. I slept until just after 1:00 when "Random Boy" rang my door bell. I thougth if I ignore it it will go away. I was wrong! Random Boy continued to ring my door bell until I answered it. I clumbsily climbed the stairs. (a bit dehidrated of course) Perky Random Boy wanted to know if I would come help him clean his house.
Now if Random boy was blind and could not have seen that I looked and smelled like hell I may have been willing to assist him. BUT he ASKED me "How are are you today?" my responce included that I was ill and not yet ready for company. THAT is when he chose to ask if I wanted to go help him clean HIS house.
in side my head: ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH THIS!!!! BOY YOU BETTETR STAT STEPPIN' RIGHT NOW BEFORE I TOSS YOU OUT MY DOOR WITH A SWIFT KICK OF DISTRUCTION TO YOUR EGO. ASKINGIN' ME TO CLEAN YOUR HOUSE WHEN I JUST TOLD I WAS SICK. I OUGHT TO WIPE THE FLOOR WITH PANSY ASS STUPIDITY RIGHT NOW. I HAVE NO FEAR OF TRASHING YOUR SORRY SELF FROM HERE TILL NEXT SUNDAY. YOU BES' GET OUT MY HOUSE WHILE YOU STILL BREATHIN'
Of course to his face I was kind. But for realy dude? Where is the tack you mama gave you for Christmas?
I am happy to report that I am feeling better, but nor "good" yet.

For Nessa

2005-10-18T12:57:00.000-07:00

*7 things i want to do before I die
1 get an education that counts for something
2 become a profetional actor/ have my own sit-com
3 learn the martial arts
4 learn to sing like they do on broadway
5 meet Patti Lupone, Bernetete Peters, Carol Brunett, Bill Cosby, Gordy B., and of course Reba
6 convince my mother that she's not as bad as she thinks she is
7 read a book cover to cover in one sitting that is not written for children

*7 things I can do
1 act
2 sing
3 get kids to listen to most anything I say
4 get a tantruming child to forget why they are so upset and get them to talk to me
5 laugh at myself
6 go without sleep for extended amounts of time and still be possitive
7 roller blade

*7 things I cannot do
1 hold my breath long enough to be "cool"
2 read without a struggle
3 dance
4 play tennis
5 do a russian accent
6 golf
7 deny my testimony

*7 things I find attractive in the opposite sex
1 eys
2 shoulders
3 hair
4 smile
5 arms
6 natural sent
7 sence of humor

*7 most common things I say
1 dou!
2 your mom..
3 hey crazy monkey
4 Heeeeeeeeey
5 shit
6 ow. (I hurt myself a lot)
7 stop licking your hands ( preschool teacher)

*7 celebrity crushes
1 Patric Stewart
2 Harrison Ford
3 Matt Damon
4 George Cloney
5 "uncle Jesse"
6 Hank Azaria (I think he's my soul mate)
7 David Duchovney

*7 friends....of mine (sista's before mista's)
1 Kat
2 Em
3 Liz
4 Nessa
5 Nama
6 Nati
7 Caren

k that's all.

she's crazy man

2005-10-17T20:33:00.000-07:00

to my mother i thank you for the inspiration you gave. for the wholeness of your drive. this woman who, when there was no other alternative, mowed the laws with scissors. drive....yea she's got it.

to my brothers i thank you for your example of comitment. commitment to what you wanted and what you now know, as well as i do, as stupidity.

to my uncle thank you for scaring the hell out of me as a child. i don't know what or who i would be today without that fear.

ya'll are great!

Had I known...

2005-10-15T10:00:00.000-07:00

that my brother being shot was what was going to help him clean up his life...i would have shot him years ago.
this week we have begun an email friendship. it's going well. i frequently forget how funny he is. i'm funny as we all know. but my bro.....damn funny guy.

breakfast

2005-10-12T17:50:00.000-07:00

to the mother of the child whom i work my ass off with,

screw you. life experiance? i'll tell you all about my life experiances. you just sit down and i'll tell you all about my life and the times of my experiances.
you see you made a choice a long time ago that beacuse i can smile at the end of my day i must not know anything. WRONG!

let me just say it must be sad for you and your boy at the end of the day. i hope he learns more from me in that respect.because joy isn't stupidity or lack of experiance. it's that joy dispite dispear. i can move on from the pain. that's growth.

wow glad i got that off my chest.

i think we got a bleeder

2005-10-07T13:58:00.000-07:00

so one of my little guys got knocked in the nose today. i have never seen that much blood come out of one little face. iit was an accident of course one boy pulling away from another boy. and BAM blood all over the playgroung. it was almost comical on the part of the 'wacker' you see he didn't want to hit him and trueely the kid felt so bad he started crying right away. he must have sad he was sorry 20 times. it took mee forever to clean up all the blood. Wow! three year old noses don't like to be triffeled with.

Pride

2005-10-01T19:38:00.000-07:00

For nearly 6 months now my dear brother has been clean. Can you believe that. He hasn't been sober since he was 13 years old. He's on his own. He's doing well.

Honestly I never thought I would feel this way for my brother. I always thought I would get "That phone call" telling me he was dead. I got two "near death" phone calls. But now I have hope for him. Delight in his pogress and his possitive humor and joy in a relationship with my brother that hasn't been possible for 17 years.

Yea it's definately pride I feel. The good kind though. Not the we'll over throw your city and burn it to the ground because we think we're number one kind.

SPANK THAT

2005-09-29T17:36:00.000-07:00

So I was on my way home today. I was flyin' on my blades. I was making great time. I was almost home. I hit a groove in the sidewalk that was going the same direction as my feet got stuck in it and CRASHED! Oh it was beautiful. Luckily the only one there was a very attractive man in a very expensive vehicle. I landed right on my tail bone swore at the groove. He asked if I was okay I of course said yes without looking up or back. Picked my dirty self up and slowly bladed the last 20 ft. home.
My ass is killing me. I feel like mom just gave me whatfore.
The revolation in all of this:
I will never be one of those women who think "Spanking" is hot.

An Easy Fix

2005-09-23T20:22:00.000-07:00

She wanted the swing. But HE was still on it. Slowly, gently she approched the boy.
Asking him for the swing would not give her the results she needed. She knew the answer before she asked. She looked around "Is Teacher Looking" she checked "NO." (Oh but I was)
He had slowed down enough for her to move in. She made her move. She sprang at the swing, hoping to knock himto the ground. It had failed, hewas still in part on the swing. With all of her might she swung her arm in an effort to knock him further from the swing. Full force she hit his back neck and head with one swipe.

Me: (from the bench) Araya get over here young lady. You know better. That's not Okay! Bench Now!"

She was shocked. Had she actually been caught in the act of her fury? She was now in trouble. How could this be? She was the kind one. The helpful one. the one who never gets in trouble. She was shocked to be in this place. She was momentarily paralized. IN TROUBLE! NOOOOOO! To the bench she slowley trudged. How could this have happened?

"how did I get here. HOW HOW HOW?"
And then...it was over.

the new girl

2005-09-21T12:02:00.000-07:00

there is a new girl in town. I'm not one to dislike people. But she's driving me crazy. Really didn't know it possible to be annoied so completely for no reason except SHE BUGS ME. It's new for me.
Wow....She really bugs.

3 fold mission

2005-09-14T17:15:00.000-07:00

My reasons for typing today are three fold:
1)Envy turned to rage.

You see today one of my girls woore a t-shirt that says "I Heart My Daddy." Yesterday one of my other girls wore the same shirt. Today's girl was playing and yesterdays girl came to me with a blaze of fire in her eyes and said in a very accusitory tone "Teacher Lisa, She's wearing my same shirt.!?" then she looked at me as if today Whatever will we do? This is a nightmare. We're not supposed to have the same cloths. We're not close. Please. Please do something about this. Help me to solve this most perplexing of cunundrums.
It was a really sad face.

2)Fox Fire

As mant of you know and some of you will soonknow'm a Freak. No it's true. I've known it for a long tme. I've just been in denile. As each day progresses I'm made more and more aware of ths situation.
Now I've been a closet Sci-Fi fan for years. As a young teen I couldn't get enough of Star Trek the next Genereation. This wouldn't be such a problem for me but I reealy hate Bad Acting. It seems as though the Sci-Fi world is riddled with it. However for some reason not yet known to me it is thew only genre wherein I find t tollerable.
This past year I bought the entire X-Files series on DVD. Turely David coould ues a couple more "Career Classes" Thank goodness for Gillian Anderson havng some skills. I do wonder what it iis inside me that says this is fasinating. That these consepts that only exist on screen are some how captivating.What wiill happen in my future that wll draw me in again.
What brought all of this on is Fox. No not the network. Not the cute little animal. Not even my beloved FBI man. No No. The freakishness goes far beyond.
There is a new boy at school....His name is Fox. For this reason alone I adore him. He's a sweet fun, playful little kid But I love him because his name is Fox. HOW COOL IS THAT?!!

3)KARMA

Today I got Karma. I've decided to slow down on the Coke. But today I HAD to have at least 32oz. I got back to work. Opened a door and spilled it all down my pants. Yea it was Karma alright. Dang Karma.
I wonder if it has anything to do with flipping off that stupiid driver yesterday. WOW! Karma doesn't take to long to get back to you does it!?!

What a Day. :)

camping

2005-09-11T21:17:00.000-07:00

I love to go camping. I went camping this weekend. I loved it. We had wind that kept me awake all night. I woke up dirty and smelling like campfire. I had dirt in places I didn't know you could get dirt. I loved it. It made me miss being camp counselor. It made me want to go back to the good ol' days of outdoors 24/7. Oh how I love the out doors. I can't explain it except to say it brings me energy and vigor. I feel alive after outside time. Not that I don't get enough at recess but there is something about being there without other peoples kids. I love to be out there. I want to have a job were i can be out side in warm weather all the time. Not so much like a life gaurd. Maybe one of those people who take troubled teens on those journey's in the mountains for months at a time. I could be one of the guides that just walks the trail. Not so much a counselor but a guide. Maybe work my way up to counselor. Who knows.....
Maybe I'll just become a circus freak.

kneaders

2005-09-07T18:49:00.000-07:00

Wow I went to Kneaders a couple of weeks ago.....um I'm a little bit in love. I'm not gunna lie. It was heaven. And since that time everytime it's time to eat I want to go there.

13 going on 30

2005-09-03T21:20:00.000-07:00

Today I went to one of those fun little countiy fair things. With Sheep dogs on the main bill. It was prity cool.Interesting at least. The best part of the day came when we were going into the fair grounds. As we were paying for the tickets the woman in the both said "Well Hun if your only 15 you can get in for only....."

In my head: Are you kidding me with this. I'm closer to 30 then 20. And your giving me the little kid discount.I know somewhere in my mind I'm thinking YEA! I look SO young! But I don't think I can respect it until I'm 40. Because aperently I still look like some kind of High school akwardness. Oh Calgone, take me away.

Sheep Dogs are cool.

Chin Hair

2005-08-31T18:56:00.000-07:00

So I was doing the make up thing this morning.I was looking good, feeling foxy and then it happened. Now I've experianced chin hair before. I know how to cope and deal with the whole situation. Ya pluck and ya move on. BUT There was a hair hanging under my face more then an inch long. PEOPLE It would behoove you to be a bit more vigalent. How long does it take for one of those little guys to get that long? Someone had to have seen it. What the devil?
I plucked it, of course, but this one is hard to move on from. What am I my Grandma? I'm going to go eat some chocolate.

I kow it's wrong

2005-08-27T11:22:00.000-07:00

But I saw a child being bratty yesterday. And then i saw her mom, who belives that this frequently bratty child is an angel, Catch her in the act of her brattness. Oh it was BEAUTIFUL! I had to laugh. I loved it. The End

Angels

2005-08-17T12:23:00.000-07:00

So I have a long story to tell.
Years ago when I was aroud 14. I was at girls camp in mid July. We had a situation with some men coming into camp and scaring the H--- out of many of the girls and leaders. In the end there was no real danger but the campers and adults were scared anyway. One of the "Camp Dad's" was asked to give a prayer of pertection. In his prayer he asked to Lord to send down sentinals to watch and protect over our camp.
In the moment the prayer was asked through the power of the priesthood a peacful presance was among us.
Each year we returnt to the camp a few months before it all starts to clean it up and get it ready for another year ofcampers. While mowing sweeping raking and all it's just an ordinary time. But I tell you as soon as that bus rolls in with the Young Women ready for camping that peace and presance is back full force.

This year was no different in that respect. I run the ropes/challenge course for our camp now. I've been doing it for 8 years now. This year on one day I had to assist in another area of the camp. A friend of mine filled in for me on this day.
Here's the storyas told to me.
My daughter was on the trust fall. (a 5ft. Patform) I was down by her feet. the team had already "zipped up" and was ready to catcher. As she was preparing her self for the backward fall I looked at the zip. The team had sort of moved a little and the zip was no longer secure. It was too late to say a word she was already falling from the platform. There was a gap from just below her shoulder blades to her head. NOT SAFE! Before I could say a word I saw.........about 10 angels standing ready. They caught her.

If her head had hit the ground there is no telling what could have happened. The Lord blesses us in so many ways.
The Lord bless you and keep you all.
Love Ritz

music and the preschool

2005-08-15T20:14:00.000-07:00

okay ya'll I know it has been like a decade since I last wrote but I'm back and better then ever.
let me tell you all of the wonderful things that have happening in the wonderful land of "the Ritz."

1 the children
a) First last week at the preschool it was music week. Delightful! I gave the young ones some thing new to boogie to. They learned some Queen and my personal fav. 'Evderybody dance Now" By C&C Music Factory. There is nothing better then a three year old movin' their thang to some funky groove....ness....na na na na na........na.
b) Durring one of our dance dance revolutions one of the little girls was getting off of a table. The funny part was that in her attempt to get down she swung her legs in front of her through her arms out to the sides and then belly flopped onto the bench below. Now kids falling and being hurt is not funny. But falling into a graceful swan like belly flop is absolute hillarium.
c)today I was subbing for the house keeper. I had my hair in braids jeans on and no make up. Not my tipical uniform for work. I was walking past one of the playgrounds and one of my favorite kids says. (Favorite because she likes to compliment me.) "Teacher Lisa, You look...........not Prity." She just got "b" listed.
2 my life
a) I found that once again my best theropy comes while cleaning. Truely my Doctors name in M. Clean. I scrubbed bathrooms. Kitchens, Sinks, Livingrooms And I feel so alive. However I realize that I'm most likely buzzed from the feums. But hey I'm okay with that.
b)I met the man I'm going to marry! Yep it's true. He has a beautiful home, A Great job, A wonderful family backround, He's single, And any time I want to see him all I have to do is dream. Oh life is good.
c)There is no "c" I just don;t want to stop typing.