S M R T

so i have been meaning to write down some of my new favorite quotes from my kids.

the kids on Rudolph,
"....and if you ever saw it you would even say it BLOWS" connor

the kids on shoes.
"Teacher Lisa my dada got me super fast super cool super suave new shoes." Nakoa

the kids on Santa,
"aaaaaaahhhh yaaaaaay wooooooooooo." all of them

the kids on cars,
"i like my moms car. it has a lot of things in it." Jordan

Alexi on Moshood,
Me: Alexi get off of Moshood........kidding
Alexi can't say his name so she calls him "Tissue"

the end

oh the children

so the kids are on one. they are killing me. don't they know that "santa is coming"
my jonnathan my sweet little jonnathatn has taken up whining. like nobody's business. oh he's good at too. too good at it.
the other day one of my boys filled a toilet to the rim with paper towels.
and why do i have to constantly repeat myself about not licking things they shouldn't be licking and keeping their sleeves out of their mouths.
is it so hard.
they've started this new habbit of talking over me when i am addressing the class. wonder where they got that.AMY (ps today was her last day. Hooray.
i want my sweet kids back. i want a partner teacher that knows SOMETHING about children.
i want a teacher next door who knows something anything.

i want heather back.......now

it wasn't my day

-i woke up an hour before my alarm
-it's saterday.
-i can go back to sleep. even the sales don't start for another two hours.
nope aparently my body isn't sleepy...
-tv?
-why not
-oh look law and order

6:00am

SALES!!!!!!
SHOPPING!!!
BLISS!!!!!!
(i like early mornings. and early morning sales. there is no one around. barely even sales reps asking if they can help you find something.)

-work christmas party lunch thing....
-yea friends and fun
-ops i tripped in front of everybody.
-just because you dont want to be the stupid volenteer doesnt mean you ALL need to shout out my name. get your own damn ideas. freaks
-ops i'm among the volenteers
-ops my fly is down
-can i go home now.

-movies friends yea
-i'm sleepy
-what do you mean it's only 9:00 pm
-10:something good night
-10: something + a few minutes.....i'm teaching tomorrow...choooooou (ch as in "K")
-i'll do it in the morning
-good night

i would if i could but i cant

welcome to the holidays Ritz style. where all year long we ignore each other for the most part. then ma gets to fake like shes offended when we don't all come home. as far as i know non of us are going to make it home this year. sean has to work kevin can't yet leave the state. and i can't go...i have rehearsal. and the biggest reason of all. none of us can afford to travel.

its cold and flu season

the children have all lost there emotional stubility. these people can no longer make it more then two hours without an emotional outburst of some kind. its like the flu bug has mutated into some sort of mind altering. emotionaly warping infection that has cut off there memory on how to behave at school. or that Teacher Lisa has rules that she expects you to remember.
then again maybe its my partner teachers fault. the fact that they have no boundaries or rules in the afternoons. the fact that she has rules that she doesn't hold them to. the fact that she has decided that it's okay to let kids rome free in a structured setting and give them nothing to do. yea that's why their parents are paying out buckets of money. so that their kids will be confussed as to what is expected of them.
don't get me wrong. i know kids need freedom but they need rules too. there is a balance between the two. i know that balance. i've worked ith kids along time. they need to feel safe in there boundaries. they'll push you to your limit. i know this. she SHOULD know this. she's makin' me crazy.

someone should move it

it was a moment of confusion for the poor young girl. she's a very sweet little girl. loveing and sweet to all people. i was holding her and it was time for naps. i sat her down and she turned (quickly) to go to class....
oooooooops! she ran her faced directly into the corner of the door. yea HUGE bruse.

Me Again?

i have to tell you the long and the short of it.

The Long:
i have had a personal struggle going on within myself for the past two years. it's been ugly, lonely, disapointing, hurtful , and draining. i wont go into it.
today i see some light at the end of the tunnel.
i tried to live my life without something dear to me. i thought it was what i was "supposed" to do. i know today that i was wrong. and i am glad to feel like i have hope in my future.

The Short:
i had an audition this week. i got a call back. i wont know until tomorrow what the end result is.
However
i haven't had an audition in two years. (a little more)
i have been trying to be something i'm not. i tried to leave acting behind like it wasn't what i was supposed to be doing it any more.
but today i feel like me again. i feel like i found something that was precious to me.
i guess i'm saying i learned something. you can't be something your not. and / or you have to be true to yourself to become your best self. something i have always known but somehow let myself forget. the Lord dose teach us in a mannor most effective for our own selves. i am so glad He knows me like that. i feel i have also regained my dearest friend. not that i lost Him, but that i know Him better because He knows me.

i do love the gosple. it is so complete.




UPDATE: 11/12/05

I got it!!! I'm am "Ruth" in the show titled "Dear Ruth"
Hale Center theater in Orem. the show opens Dec. 30th and runs through Feb. 4th
yippee i'm an actor again!!!!

scarey spiders

this is the best spider story ever!
this mornig young jordin was in my class with his big sister and an assortment of other mixed age group kids.
teacher mindy came to get her three year olds. (jordin among them)there was a spider on the floor next to jordin. in a moment of great ignorance mindy pointed out to jordin that the spider was crawling under him.
surprisingly enough he didn't freak out.......right away.
he thought it was cool, so he picked it up and threw it into the air. laughing and smiling. he caught it and threw it again. but that's when the trama started. ya see as the spider fell to him the second time he go.....well.....scared. and began to cry and....well scream. and all together came unglued. and freaked out.
for some reason the boy didn't expect that the spider he had so lovingly tossed into the air.....would return.
understand that the spider made no attempt to hurt him in any way. the child just freaked out. for 12 minutes. crying and sobing.
it was fully entertaining.

Prison vs. Work

I just got this emailed from my brother. i had a giggle or too.

Just in case you ever got these two mixed up, This should make things
a
bit more clear....

IN PRISON you spend the majority of your time in an 8X10 cell.
AT WORK you spend the majority of your time in a 6X8 cubicle.

IN PRISON you get three meals a day.
AT WORK you only get a break for one meal and you pay for it.

IN PRISON you get time off for good behavior.
AT WORK you get more work for good behavior.

IN PRISON the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
AT WORK you must carry around a security card and open all the doors
for yourself.

IN PRISON you can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK you get fired for watching TV and playing games.

IN PRISON you get your own toilet.
AT WORK you have to share with some idiot who pees on the toilet.

IN PRISON they allow your family and friends to visit.
AT WORK you can't speak to your family.

IN PRISON all expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work
required.
AT WORK you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they
deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.

IN PRISON you spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out.
AT WORK you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside
bars.

IN PRISON you must deal with sadistic wardens.
AT WORK they are called managers

noodles and children

today was spaghetti day. have you ever watched a three or four year old try to eat a noodle...with a fork. it's like these compoents were never ment to meet up. it's like a bad joke. a child a noodle and a fork walk up to a bar......
really i could have watched them for a full hour. there were several different tactics going on at the table. first there was the wind up and slip. the child would get the noodle on the fork get it to witin an inch of their mouth and the noodle would abandon ship. next was the dig and shove. after missing the last bite the child would jam the fork into the plate along with their free hand and then using both hands shovel the noodles into the mouth. when that didn't work the fork was dropped the face was put as close to the plate as possible and the suck was enforced.
slurp it up kids it's the only way to eat a noodle. next time i think i will join them in the slurp. 'cause really it's very effective.

whining

do you ever have those times when you just want to forgo hygeine. forget you know what a shower is. or move far away to a place where showers are rare like......the back allies of zimbabwa.
basicly i am tired an there is way to much energy involved in being clean right now.
we better get a new cook soon. i can't take this opening everyday. okay i can. but i'm tired today and i want to whine.
whine whine whine whine whine.
k done.

Happy Halloween

today as you well know is halloween. and i'll tell you the trueth about kids and this day. there is something inside them that can not take a day od excitement and tradition. I'll tell you how i know.
SIX kids went home today with verious fevers, pink eye and what not. do they not know that this is a time to gather goods from strangers. and be out all night and ya know.....PLAY!
well i'm going out for ALL the kids tonight. i'm gunna work it!

The Freak Show Continues

Well the kids never cease to amaze me.
Today my Jonnathan was holding a bug. Not that that is amazing, but the rest of the story makes me shiver a little bit. Ya see He's holding this bug and I'm thinking "GERMS" put it down! So I walk across the playground to the lad and I'm about to say "Jon Jon, put the bug down. He wants to go home now."
As I get to him he turn and say "See! It's a bee."
However the revelation was a bit harsher considering he was not holding bee, but a WASP!
The kids holding a freaking WASP.!!!!
On the Outside: Cool Jon Jon. Put him down now K.
On the Inside: EYAHHHH! Put it down ! Put it down! Put it down you crazy child that thing can sting you multipal times and I have no clue weather or not you have an allergy to such. Drop it PSYCHO!
All and all it went over well. He put it down and I was left to wonder how he was able to coax the thing into his hand without being stung. Also who is this childs daddy? Candyman?

skeletons

SO IT'S ALMOST HALLOWEEN. TO KEEP THE KIDS IN LINE I HAVE A STAMP THAT THEY CAN EARN.
THERE ARE SEVERAL DIFFERENT STAMPS THEY CAN GET. MOSTLY THEY LIKE THE SKELETON.
I HAVE ONE LITTLE GIRL WHO LOVES BABIES. SHE LOVES BABY EVERYTHING.
HERES THE MORBID PART. I SAID "WHO WANTS A SKELETON?" ALL OF THE KIDS SAID THEY WANTED ONE. THEY SAID "I LOVE THE SKELETON" THEN THE BABY LOVERS SAYS "I LIKE BABY SKELETONS."
YEA SHE'S FREAKIN' ME OUT

Older

I must be getting older. I had an idea for a great post today. But now I can't even remember what it was about. Sad but true. I'm an old woman. just promise me that at the funeral there will be no blonds. (Nothing personal to my blond friends, that was just the last thing my grandma said before SHE died.)

Random Stupid Boy

So I had a rough night last night. Ate too much dairy and for the first time I threw up a few times from the cows rich goodness. I was awake until about 7:00 this morning. I slept until just after 1:00 when "Random Boy" rang my door bell. I thougth if I ignore it it will go away. I was wrong! Random Boy continued to ring my door bell until I answered it. I clumbsily climbed the stairs. (a bit dehidrated of course) Perky Random Boy wanted to know if I would come help him clean his house.
Now if Random boy was blind and could not have seen that I looked and smelled like hell I may have been willing to assist him. BUT he ASKED me "How are are you today?" my responce included that I was ill and not yet ready for company. THAT is when he chose to ask if I wanted to go help him clean HIS house.
in side my head: ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH THIS!!!! BOY YOU BETTETR STAT STEPPIN' RIGHT NOW BEFORE I TOSS YOU OUT MY DOOR WITH A SWIFT KICK OF DISTRUCTION TO YOUR EGO. ASKINGIN' ME TO CLEAN YOUR HOUSE WHEN I JUST TOLD I WAS SICK. I OUGHT TO WIPE THE FLOOR WITH PANSY ASS STUPIDITY RIGHT NOW. I HAVE NO FEAR OF TRASHING YOUR SORRY SELF FROM HERE TILL NEXT SUNDAY. YOU BES' GET OUT MY HOUSE WHILE YOU STILL BREATHIN'
Of course to his face I was kind. But for realy dude? Where is the tack you mama gave you for Christmas?
I am happy to report that I am feeling better, but nor "good" yet.

For Nessa

*7 things i want to do before I die
1 get an education that counts for something
2 become a profetional actor/ have my own sit-com
3 learn the martial arts
4 learn to sing like they do on broadway
5 meet Patti Lupone, Bernetete Peters, Carol Brunett, Bill Cosby, Gordy B., and of course Reba
6 convince my mother that she's not as bad as she thinks she is
7 read a book cover to cover in one sitting that is not written for children

*7 things I can do
1 act
2 sing
3 get kids to listen to most anything I say
4 get a tantruming child to forget why they are so upset and get them to talk to me
5 laugh at myself
6 go without sleep for extended amounts of time and still be possitive
7 roller blade

*7 things I cannot do
1 hold my breath long enough to be "cool"
2 read without a struggle
3 dance
4 play tennis
5 do a russian accent
6 golf
7 deny my testimony

*7 things I find attractive in the opposite sex
1 eys
2 shoulders
3 hair
4 smile
5 arms
6 natural sent
7 sence of humor

*7 most common things I say
1 dou!
2 your mom..
3 hey crazy monkey
4 Heeeeeeeeey
5 shit
6 ow. (I hurt myself a lot)
7 stop licking your hands ( preschool teacher)

*7 celebrity crushes
1 Patric Stewart
2 Harrison Ford
3 Matt Damon
4 George Cloney
5 "uncle Jesse"
6 Hank Azaria (I think he's my soul mate)
7 David Duchovney

*7 friends....of mine (sista's before mista's)
1 Kat
2 Em
3 Liz
4 Nessa
5 Nama
6 Nati
7 Caren

k that's all.

she's crazy man

to my mother i thank you for the inspiration you gave. for the wholeness of your drive. this woman who, when there was no other alternative, mowed the laws with scissors. drive....yea she's got it.

to my brothers i thank you for your example of comitment. commitment to what you wanted and what you now know, as well as i do, as stupidity.

to my uncle thank you for scaring the hell out of me as a child. i don't know what or who i would be today without that fear.


ya'll are great!

Had I known...

that my brother being shot was what was going to help him clean up his life...i would have shot him years ago.
this week we have begun an email friendship. it's going well. i frequently forget how funny he is. i'm funny as we all know. but my bro.....damn funny guy.

breakfast

to the mother of the child whom i work my ass off with,

screw you. life experiance? i'll tell you all about my life experiances. you just sit down and i'll tell you all about my life and the times of my experiances.
you see you made a choice a long time ago that beacuse i can smile at the end of my day i must not know anything. WRONG!

let me just say it must be sad for you and your boy at the end of the day. i hope he learns more from me in that respect.because joy isn't stupidity or lack of experiance. it's that joy dispite dispear. i can move on from the pain. that's growth.

wow glad i got that off my chest.

i think we got a bleeder

so one of my little guys got knocked in the nose today. i have never seen that much blood come out of one little face. iit was an accident of course one boy pulling away from another boy. and BAM blood all over the playgroung. it was almost comical on the part of the 'wacker' you see he didn't want to hit him and trueely the kid felt so bad he started crying right away. he must have sad he was sorry 20 times. it took mee forever to clean up all the blood. Wow! three year old noses don't like to be triffeled with.

Pride

For nearly 6 months now my dear brother has been clean. Can you believe that. He hasn't been sober since he was 13 years old. He's on his own. He's doing well.

Honestly I never thought I would feel this way for my brother. I always thought I would get "That phone call" telling me he was dead. I got two "near death" phone calls. But now I have hope for him. Delight in his pogress and his possitive humor and joy in a relationship with my brother that hasn't been possible for 17 years.

Yea it's definately pride I feel. The good kind though. Not the we'll over throw your city and burn it to the ground because we think we're number one kind.

SPANK THAT

So I was on my way home today. I was flyin' on my blades. I was making great time. I was almost home. I hit a groove in the sidewalk that was going the same direction as my feet got stuck in it and CRASHED! Oh it was beautiful. Luckily the only one there was a very attractive man in a very expensive vehicle. I landed right on my tail bone swore at the groove. He asked if I was okay I of course said yes without looking up or back. Picked my dirty self up and slowly bladed the last 20 ft. home.
My ass is killing me. I feel like mom just gave me whatfore.
The revolation in all of this:
I will never be one of those women who think "Spanking" is hot.

An Easy Fix

She wanted the swing. But HE was still on it. Slowly, gently she approched the boy.
Asking him for the swing would not give her the results she needed. She knew the answer before she asked. She looked around "Is Teacher Looking" she checked "NO." (Oh but I was)
He had slowed down enough for her to move in. She made her move. She sprang at the swing, hoping to knock himto the ground. It had failed, hewas still in part on the swing. With all of her might she swung her arm in an effort to knock him further from the swing. Full force she hit his back neck and head with one swipe.

Me: (from the bench) Araya get over here young lady. You know better. That's not Okay! Bench Now!"

She was shocked. Had she actually been caught in the act of her fury? She was now in trouble. How could this be? She was the kind one. The helpful one. the one who never gets in trouble. She was shocked to be in this place. She was momentarily paralized. IN TROUBLE! NOOOOOO! To the bench she slowley trudged. How could this have happened?

"how did I get here. HOW HOW HOW?"
And then...it was over.

the new girl

there is a new girl in town. I'm not one to dislike people. But she's driving me crazy. Really didn't know it possible to be annoied so completely for no reason except SHE BUGS ME. It's new for me.
Wow....She really bugs.

3 fold mission

My reasons for typing today are three fold:
1)Envy turned to rage.

You see today one of my girls woore a t-shirt that says "I Heart My Daddy." Yesterday one of my other girls wore the same shirt. Today's girl was playing and yesterdays girl came to me with a blaze of fire in her eyes and said in a very accusitory tone "Teacher Lisa, She's wearing my same shirt.!?" then she looked at me as if today Whatever will we do? This is a nightmare. We're not supposed to have the same cloths. We're not close. Please. Please do something about this. Help me to solve this most perplexing of cunundrums.
It was a really sad face.

2)Fox Fire

As mant of you know and some of you will soonknow'm a Freak. No it's true. I've known it for a long tme. I've just been in denile. As each day progresses I'm made more and more aware of ths situation.
Now I've been a closet Sci-Fi fan for years. As a young teen I couldn't get enough of Star Trek the next Genereation. This wouldn't be such a problem for me but I reealy hate Bad Acting. It seems as though the Sci-Fi world is riddled with it. However for some reason not yet known to me it is thew only genre wherein I find t tollerable.
This past year I bought the entire X-Files series on DVD. Turely David coould ues a couple more "Career Classes" Thank goodness for Gillian Anderson havng some skills. I do wonder what it iis inside me that says this is fasinating. That these consepts that only exist on screen are some how captivating.What wiill happen in my future that wll draw me in again.
What brought all of this on is Fox. No not the network. Not the cute little animal. Not even my beloved FBI man. No No. The freakishness goes far beyond.
There is a new boy at school....His name is Fox. For this reason alone I adore him. He's a sweet fun, playful little kid But I love him because his name is Fox. HOW COOL IS THAT?!!

3)KARMA

Today I got Karma. I've decided to slow down on the Coke. But today I HAD to have at least 32oz. I got back to work. Opened a door and spilled it all down my pants. Yea it was Karma alright. Dang Karma.
I wonder if it has anything to do with flipping off that stupiid driver yesterday. WOW! Karma doesn't take to long to get back to you does it!?!

What a Day. :)

camping

I love to go camping. I went camping this weekend. I loved it. We had wind that kept me awake all night. I woke up dirty and smelling like campfire. I had dirt in places I didn't know you could get dirt. I loved it. It made me miss being camp counselor. It made me want to go back to the good ol' days of outdoors 24/7. Oh how I love the out doors. I can't explain it except to say it brings me energy and vigor. I feel alive after outside time. Not that I don't get enough at recess but there is something about being there without other peoples kids. I love to be out there. I want to have a job were i can be out side in warm weather all the time. Not so much like a life gaurd. Maybe one of those people who take troubled teens on those journey's in the mountains for months at a time. I could be one of the guides that just walks the trail. Not so much a counselor but a guide. Maybe work my way up to counselor. Who knows.....
Maybe I'll just become a circus freak.

kneaders

Wow I went to Kneaders a couple of weeks ago.....um I'm a little bit in love. I'm not gunna lie. It was heaven. And since that time everytime it's time to eat I want to go there.

13 going on 30

Today I went to one of those fun little countiy fair things. With Sheep dogs on the main bill. It was prity cool.Interesting at least. The best part of the day came when we were going into the fair grounds. As we were paying for the tickets the woman in the both said "Well Hun if your only 15 you can get in for only....."

In my head: Are you kidding me with this. I'm closer to 30 then 20. And your giving me the little kid discount.I know somewhere in my mind I'm thinking YEA! I look SO young! But I don't think I can respect it until I'm 40. Because aperently I still look like some kind of High school akwardness. Oh Calgone, take me away.

Sheep Dogs are cool.

Chin Hair

So I was doing the make up thing this morning.I was looking good, feeling foxy and then it happened. Now I've experianced chin hair before. I know how to cope and deal with the whole situation. Ya pluck and ya move on. BUT There was a hair hanging under my face more then an inch long. PEOPLE It would behoove you to be a bit more vigalent. How long does it take for one of those little guys to get that long? Someone had to have seen it. What the devil?
I plucked it, of course, but this one is hard to move on from. What am I my Grandma? I'm going to go eat some chocolate.

I kow it's wrong

But I saw a child being bratty yesterday. And then i saw her mom, who belives that this frequently bratty child is an angel, Catch her in the act of her brattness. Oh it was BEAUTIFUL! I had to laugh. I loved it. The End

Angels

So I have a long story to tell.
Years ago when I was aroud 14. I was at girls camp in mid July. We had a situation with some men coming into camp and scaring the H--- out of many of the girls and leaders. In the end there was no real danger but the campers and adults were scared anyway. One of the "Camp Dad's" was asked to give a prayer of pertection. In his prayer he asked to Lord to send down sentinals to watch and protect over our camp.
In the moment the prayer was asked through the power of the priesthood a peacful presance was among us.
Each year we returnt to the camp a few months before it all starts to clean it up and get it ready for another year ofcampers. While mowing sweeping raking and all it's just an ordinary time. But I tell you as soon as that bus rolls in with the Young Women ready for camping that peace and presance is back full force.

This year was no different in that respect. I run the ropes/challenge course for our camp now. I've been doing it for 8 years now. This year on one day I had to assist in another area of the camp. A friend of mine filled in for me on this day.
Here's the storyas told to me.
My daughter was on the trust fall. (a 5ft. Patform) I was down by her feet. the team had already "zipped up" and was ready to catcher. As she was preparing her self for the backward fall I looked at the zip. The team had sort of moved a little and the zip was no longer secure. It was too late to say a word she was already falling from the platform. There was a gap from just below her shoulder blades to her head. NOT SAFE! Before I could say a word I saw.........about 10 angels standing ready. They caught her.

If her head had hit the ground there is no telling what could have happened. The Lord blesses us in so many ways.
The Lord bless you and keep you all.
Love Ritz

music and the preschool

okay ya'll I know it has been like a decade since I last wrote but I'm back and better then ever.
let me tell you all of the wonderful things that have happening in the wonderful land of "the Ritz."

1 the children
a) First last week at the preschool it was music week. Delightful! I gave the young ones some thing new to boogie to. They learned some Queen and my personal fav. 'Evderybody dance Now" By C&C Music Factory. There is nothing better then a three year old movin' their thang to some funky groove....ness....na na na na na........na.
b) Durring one of our dance dance revolutions one of the little girls was getting off of a table. The funny part was that in her attempt to get down she swung her legs in front of her through her arms out to the sides and then belly flopped onto the bench below. Now kids falling and being hurt is not funny. But falling into a graceful swan like belly flop is absolute hillarium.
c)today I was subbing for the house keeper. I had my hair in braids jeans on and no make up. Not my tipical uniform for work. I was walking past one of the playgrounds and one of my favorite kids says. (Favorite because she likes to compliment me.) "Teacher Lisa, You look...........not Prity." She just got "b" listed.
2 my life
a) I found that once again my best theropy comes while cleaning. Truely my Doctors name in M. Clean. I scrubbed bathrooms. Kitchens, Sinks, Livingrooms And I feel so alive. However I realize that I'm most likely buzzed from the feums. But hey I'm okay with that.
b)I met the man I'm going to marry! Yep it's true. He has a beautiful home, A Great job, A wonderful family backround, He's single, And any time I want to see him all I have to do is dream. Oh life is good.
c)There is no "c" I just don;t want to stop typing.

Fish

So I just heard a great story.
My friends family went to visit Grandma and they have a six year old.
I kid you not every half hour Grandma would say "Oh when did you get here. I'm so glad to see you."
The six year old , recently falling in love with 'Finding Nemo', Looks at mom and says " She's just like Dori isn't she?"
I love it!

26

Wow I can't believe I made it this far. Here I am, 26 years old and really not much to show for it. Past ambitions dropped and picked back up. I wonder if I can fill in the broken part before mom finds out I dropped it.
I think I'm nearing a spiritual rock bottom. I know it's normal to go through withdrawls after the removal of a mantel but this has gone on long enough. I feel removed and separated from everyone and everything, even myself. I'm loosing my desire to move and do. Become the sloth I've always feared. I've become bitter and uneasy over things that really matter nothing. My guilty pleasures seem, at times, to be my only pleasures.
What the devil is wrong with me? I'm better then this. I know I am. I've worked my ass off not tho become this person. Still here I sit all broken hearted. What is a girl to do?
Don't miss understand I still feel joy in the things I alwasy have. But I fear I have lost my rythem for it.
Man I can't wait to get out of this place. I know it's only a small part of the problem but it sure clouds my judgement of myself.

A Child Goes Forth

Last wek te kids were on a roll. Each day when I came home there was a new story to tell of some small little guy of gal being oh so clever. Here are some of the highlights.

Once again with the months of the year song, Logan sings out with all his might "...June July and Elvis...."
In my head: Did he just say Elvis. He did he said Elvis.....That's awesome. Little dude just said Elvis on purpose . He knows it's Augest and he said Elvis to be funny....Oh my Gosh He's HI- Larrrrrr-I-us.

Kyler age 2 useing the potty. Teacher Norma behind him.
"Kyler make sure you...."
Kyler turns around because he heard his name.
"Ahhhhh! He peed on me!"
Yea he got her right on the foot.

Caden: Teacher Lisa watch me do my cool trick on the slide.
Me: Wow Caden that was aesome! Gimme Five. (The trick was fairly cool and difficult for a three year old.)
He runs over to me to give me five he swings his hand, misses mine, falls to the ground, Jumps back up, swings again, misses, falls this time hurting himself, returns again to his feet, looks at me with a smidgen of distain, tries one last time, makes contact with the hand still falls then struts away.

In the Dolphin class (5 yr olds) I sat down on one of the little chairs.
Maddison: Teacher Lisa your gunna break it.
Me: (my face loosing any smile it had) Did you just call me fat?
Maddison: (Her face loosing all expression except for fear along with the other 2 children at the table.) Nooooo!

I laughed out loud.She looked so scared. Then Relieved. I swear I heard the inside of her head go "Wheew. That was a close one."

octember

I think I need to get out of teaching. I think somehow I have dailed my little ones. Every day we sing the "Months of the year" song. My kids know it by heart and sing it all the time. Yesterday was shyanne's birthday. I asked her when her big brothers birthday was and she said "I don't know. Maybe Octember."
Come on Shy Shy at the very least it's Octover. You always say that!

It got me thinking maybe we can make up some new months to make more time for our selves.
January
Octember
Farch( this month will be made up entierly of Friday's and Saturdays.)
Aplriluy...

I like it.

Feid Trip

This is how the conversation went with my little kids as we walked past the statue shop that is just up the street from the preschool.

Shyanne: Teacher Lisa thats Jesus! That's Jesus!

Nettie:No, Teacher Lisa that's God. It's God. That's God!

Moshood: Ahhhhh! A Ghost!

one of those days

sorry gang I forgot to take my Bitch-be-gone pills this morning.

bless the child

Today I was hanging out in the 2 year old class. Chillin' with the babes. And sweet little Maridaliea looks at my arm and says
"Teacher Brown."
That's right the little angel noticed my tan.
Bless her.
Bless her.

He's not so bad

So I know I give him a hard time but I do have to give props to my bro. for turning his life around. He is doing counseling. Calling his sponcer when he's tempted. And hey he's even talking to his favorite little sister again. It's kind of cool.

Side note. You've all heard of the "F- Bomb." I experianced the "Fully automatic F- Machine gun." It was great. I tried to keep to count but I couldn't keep up.

Picture it

He's 27
He's bald
He's got more tattoo's then body parts
He's got an on and off jail record that goes all the way back to the age of 13
He's got a mouth that can weave profanities so fast he puts Eminem to shame
He's tat's range from personal pride to white power.
He's been shot
He's been stabbed (twice)
He's funnier then Adrew Dice Clay

He is my brother. He is MY brother? He IS my Brother.

Questions

Where did my money go?
How come I keep gaining weight?
Do I realy look as young as they say I do?
When is my husband going to call?
Where did all of my socks go?
Is there a reason Moshood can't understand me? What are his underlieing needs?
What ever happened to Calen?
Is Damien okay?
Man those kindergardeners did such a great job on thier little program.
Is there life out there?
Am I ever going to get it together enough to go to school?
Am I going to get some more knowledge into my head before this life is over?
Will American Idol make it another season?
Does anyone eles find Simon wildly atractive?
Do knew shoes have to smell like that?
Will they ever grow up? Or at least get it?
What's with me having finatial trouble? That's not like me.
What's with me not being like me as of late?
Why would I look at life with a bleak overview?
Do people really live like that?
Is it possible to have your cake and eat it to?
Why am I NOT Auditioning?
When you love someone, should you ever let them go?
How do they maintain that color?
Where have all the flowers gone?
When they say they love me but never make any attempted of keeping in contact with me, Do they really mean it or is it just me wanting to be loved, so I hold on tight and remind them why they love me? But is it even worth my time trying to keep up with all of these people who don't actually seem to care all that much? What am I missing? I keep having this experiance over and over. Friends who don't call or care all that much. Yet somehow I am willing to invest much time and energy to them? Who lives like that? That's not joy. What's the lesson? It can't be to stop making friends? It can't be to stop caring about people? Is it to teach me to let them go? 'Cause I'm not passing the test here.
Wow That was a big one. Maybe I need a shrink!
Good times.

A Family Dedicated to Service

I was blessed to serve a mission.
My Mom Serves in the church.
My Brother Sean serves beers.
My Brother Kevin Serves time.

What was that?

Each day there is something new from my little ones or my brother. Today I tell you about the innocents of children.
We learned about planets and stars and all of those fun things in pre-school this week. I named off the planets of our Solar System and then had the following conversation:

Me: Can any one tell me one tell me one of the planets?
Shyanne: oh oh uuu oh. (Hand raised. Impressive because not many of them get why we do that yet.)
Me: Shyanne can you tell me one?
Shyanne: V... p...sssss....Penas!!!
Me: (Shocked) Good. Shy shy Good! VVVV Venas. (eybrows raised in reassurance that I'm right It's V VEnas)
Story #2
A First grader reporting to the class about lizards. He read in the book and saw pictures and gave this report.

"Lizards are so cool. They can shed their skin and the can climb in trees AND !! And they can, I saw this picture they can link up. (Hand motion one hand over the other. Palm to back of hand.) they can link up and go around and fight. :
I my head I'm screaming : "Link up! OH m word man they're not transformers!"
On the out side: Thank you Kolton. Good job buddy. (To older more informed boy.) James put your hand down.

Mondays...

I think I may be an anomaly.
When it comes to that first big day of the week that most people dread. You see I'm a morning person. I'm even a Monday morning person. I can handle having to get up one morning. The day that ticks me off is Tuesday. Because I just did this yesterday. Why do I have to do it again?
Tuesdays make me angery! Like a Rainy Monday. By the time Wednesday rolls around the anger has subsided and I can carry on for the next couple of days. Thursday breezes by with the exception of the 3 day feel of 30 min. in staff meeting. Friday look out. I'm ready to play and I'm excited becuase, unlike the rest of you, I have until tuesday to sart my dreary week.
So join me my friends in the Tuesday mind frame. Trust me lifes btter here.

So join the thousands of Happy Peppy People and buy a great big bottle of VitameataTuesdaygin tomorrow. (wink)

The moning off...

I made a post this morning about parents that I work for. As I sent it to post the server failed and the post was lost. But to recap in friendlier words:
Parents of the world please respect your children. They are people trying to become adults. They need love and understaning. They need encouragement in thier personalities. And most of all they need you to be thier parents.

Today I am taking the morning off. I like it.
I woke up at 8:35 And I'm still not dressed. I'm going to do laundry and organize my living room. Today is a day to celabrate. I'm going to miss a staf meeting, but I'm okay with that too becauce all they will do is patronize me anyway. I like Saturday on thursday. I'm going to start a new trend.

Oh Chil', Yes!

Just to remind you all that I'm funny and I know funny things I would like to tell you the story of Girl.
It was an evening in a Denn's type setting and the thirst had gotten to my friends very core. She hollared for the waitress who's name tag read:"Girl".
Friend: Excuse me, Girl (half questoning the name)
G: Excuse me! It's GER- EL!
By then we couldn't even ask for the much needed water.
And then
we died.
THE END

Friday

My word man I love this day. It's my favorite!

Has this ever happened to you?

You are going happily about your dailey life and something increadabley simple happens. However this very simple thing is something that knocks you for a loop. It's something that you've always expected would happen at some point. It's meaningless. It has no real value, but when it happens you'll be ready for it, Right? You've always been ready for this day. This moment to arrive. It's not going to destroy your happy world no matter how much it wants to. You are in control. This moment will pass as easily as the one just before it.

WRONG!

I always figured that the moment would arrive, I would panic, and then be left to either look crazy or explain myself. That day has come and gone. And for those that were witnessto it I do appologize.
I've explained myself, my life, and my crazy family for many years. Sometimes it gets to be all too much. I haven't ever really minded before now. But I've experianced some growth in the past little while. I've come to the realization that not as many people's families are much like mine. (not as many as I thought) Not that I'm embarassed of them, far from it. I think, however, I do feel sorry for them. I wish I could teach them more about what life is about. About how fear is the only thing we need conquire. How mastering our own self is the key to joy and happiness.

Without disclosing what happened it just needs to be said, I'm not crazy. I'm quite normal. And, save a few things, well adjusted. I hope for the best. In all things. For all people. Even my crazy family. And yes, even myself.

Teacher Lisa's Playground Man

Yet another fun filled day with the little ones. This morning I was talking with Madeline. We call her Maddie. And upon viewing my necklace she was inspired with the following conversation:
M: Is that your wedding necklace Teacher Lisa?
Me: No, Sweetie. I'm not married.
M: Why Not? (soft not yet forceful. Her mom just recently got married.)
Me: Because I'm not. (softly)
M: Why? (more forceful.)
Me: Because I don't have anyone to marry. (spoken as a child entertainer)
M: (Thinking. Long pause.) You need maybe a boyfriend then? (hope and helpfulness detected in voice.)
Me: Yea. (sarcasm)
M: I find you a boyfriend.
Me: You will? (shock)
M: Yea when we go outside time.
Me: Thanks Maddie.
M: Yea.

more then life sized

Have you ever seen a child when they meet someone famous. Like Mickey Mouse. Or Santa. Or any of theose beloved charactors in over sized suits. It's like heaven and fear somehow combined and if they don't scream or run away they will explode or the face will somehow be removed from thier body.
Today Smokey the Bear came to visit my little loves, and you know what floored me? Not the kids that were excited. Not the ones that were terrified. But the one that had just come back from Disneyland two weeks ago and every day she shows me a new picture of her smiling and waving standing next to some more then life sized being. But some how in the comfort of her own school in her home town the pressure was too much and unfortunatley....she exploded. I think it may take a couple of days to get the bits and pieces back together.

HOT

Today as I traveled down breeze way of the school. Past the playground where the Zebra class was playing. I heard the voice of my now favorite child say in her four year old voice
"Teacher you look Hot!"
As she continued to play on her swing I thought to myself.......

Bless you my child. Bless you.

Oh the skies

Kids....Are funny people. On Thursday moning I was having a conversation with a lttle boy by the name of Derek. The conversation went as follows:
D: You got 6 brotheres?
Me: No
D: You got 6 brothers?
Me: No
D: You got 6 brothers
Me: No Derek I have 2 brothers.
D: (with a look of couriousness) Wha's they names?
Me: One is Kevin and one is Sean?
D: ( now even more courious) Wha's yo Dads name?
Me: His name was Chuck
D: Hmmm ( scratching his chin) Wha's you mom's name?
Me: Her name is Judy.
D: (nodding his 3 year old head) Judy? Yea. like that guy.
Me: Yea She's....she's a good guy.
And then he left to steel a barbie from a friend.

Dude Stabbed me in the neck

I am excited to be joining all of my friends here in the land of Blog.
Today, to start with I would like to remind you of a fun story about my dear relative whom I call brother.
Once upon a time in the land of Troutdale Bother Kevin was Stabbed in a bar fight. He died twice in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. (Let's just say he leads a life of riotous living.) After sugery some staples and many doses of morphine he was just fine. His best Friend arrived at the hospital shortly after I did. His red hair blazed into the room and in a rare form of languge I like to call "dude" James said:
J: Kevin? What happen man?
K: Dude stabbed me in the neck.( dopped up dude)
J: Why'd he do tha? (cring dude)
K: Guess I was talkin' out my neck so he shu in fer me.
J: Well he didn't have to stab you in the neck.

I then excused myself. Because I could see that outward laughter would not be seen as acceptable at that moment.

UPDATE
This week I talked to my mother and the moron has been shot! Oh no worries he's fine but I sometimes wonder what it is the drives him to live his life in a maner that is so unsaticfying.
K:Dude shot me in the leg
Me: Why'd he do tha?
K: Guess I was runnin' too fast so he had to take me down.
Me: Well He didn't have to shoot you int he leg. He could have just stabbed you in the leg.